Funny Farting Story

 I farted in Yoga class today.

It was loud.
My heart started pounding
but it did not explode.
pounding means beating, thumping
My heart started pounding
but it did not explode.
I thought I would be devastated
devastated means
destroyed, traumatized, ruined
I thought I would be devastated
but I was not.
Instead (alternatively)
something unexpected happened.
Something not expected, unforeseen, sudden, abrupt, surprising happened.
I laughed.
At first a little giggle
giggle means a small light laugh,
a silly or nervous laugh.
At first a little giggle
and then a full blown belly laugh.
full blown means fully developed,
full-scale, complete, total.
a belly laugh is a loud unrestrained laugh.
I laughed.
At first a little giggle
and then a full blown belly laugh.
In fact, I laughed so hard that
I farted again.
I could feel people staring
but I didn't care.
staring means looking straight at
Who knew I had so much air inside me.
Who knew means it was a surprise.
Who knew I had so much air inside me.
My body had deflated
deflate means flatten or let air out.
also let down, dismay, discourage,
My body had deflated
but my spirit had inflated!
My spirt had filled up!
I assumed the ladies around me
would pull rocks out of their yoga pants and stone me.
assume means presume, suppose, conclude, think, believe
I thought the ladies around me
would remove rocks from their yoga pants and throw them at me.
I assumed the ladies around me
would pull rocks out of their yoga pants and stone me.
But nothing happened.
Relieved, I laughed.  
I laughed so hard in fact
that three more farts erupted.
erupted means suddenly break out
I laughed so hard in fact
that three more farts erupted.
Now people were staring.  
"Excuse me,"
a woman behind me hisses.  
"Some of us are trying
to practice yoga..."
Then something amazing happened.
A noise erupted
from another corner of the room.
Farting was happening everywhere.
Everyone started laughing and farting.
A symphony of farts.
I was free, we all were free.  

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